Dating length and marriage

The good news—with conscious communication and planning, a successful marriage means that conflict is inevitable (it has absolutely no reflection on whether or not you are in a marriage that will last), but how you repair your conflict is much more important.

Whether you are engaged, living together or married, work on healing your conflicts, create healthy communication and your relationship will last for the rest of your life together." So really, it doesn't matter whether you waited five years or five months to get engaged.

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But as a baseline, Ian Kerner, Ph D, LMFT, licensed psychotherapist, couple's therapist and author of "I've worked with a lot of couples who have strong relationships, and they met and fell in love quickly and really got to know each other's friends and family," Kerner says.

This lasts anywhere from 2 days to 26 months, and then the couple will enter into the power struggle or the conflict phase of their relationship.

This is natural and probably will last the rest of your marriage, or forever (the bad news).

Don't discount your personal assessment of future happiness: It's tied to underlying processes you're doing now that will later affect relationship well-being. Research (Felmee, 1995) examining these "fatal attractions" has discovered that they often take a certain form.

When a partner is dissimilar from us in a specific way or has traits that are extreme—"She's super enthusiastic! "—we sometimes see these as highly attractive qualities during relationship initiation, but they later become highly qualities that can reduce relationship satisfaction.

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