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When someone’s actions are contrary to their words, this is not only a red flag, it’s gut-check time.

If a potential date’s actions or words set off an internal alarm system, you owe it to yourself to pay attention and act accordingly. For example, if you’ve met someone online and they seem interesting, then you talk to them on the phone and they sound completely different (in a negative way), you may decide not to meet them in person.

Unfortunately, no matter what your heart says, you must hold back a bit for your own good.

Here are Rules to help you be light and breezy in your e-mails: It all sounds good on paper, but you cannot write “soul mate” and think you will get one that way.

That means paying attention to red flags as they are presented to you on dates.

An example of a red flag would be if you found yourself on a date with someone who could not stop talking about their ex.

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